Chocolate Snow

Eh?

While I was putting my shoes on a few minutes ago, I came across a random thought.

Well, a new semester's just around the corner, and...

I DON'T WANT TO SEE PEOPLE WHO MAKE OUT IN PUBLIC.

What I meant by that was, I don't want to see people making out at school. Jeez, and those things are gross sights btw. I mean, It doesn't look as sweet as movie kisses. Those that I see at school (oh boy, there's a lot of those kinda action at school), are terrible. I mean, hey kids, get a room. Ugh, disgusting.

Actually, I'm not bothered by PDAs that look sweet. It's a normal thing, right? But you know, there are these people who seem to be lustfully aggressive, if you know what I mean. Jeez, man.

Anyway, that was just a random thought. I remembered getting my second semester schedule. So, I remembered school. I remembered horrifying events.

LOL.

爱你，宝贝

Missy

Two Girls and a Guy

Okay, so here's the thing.

I've been watching Glee and ever since Finn asked the school nurse, Will's "pregnant" wife, Terri, I can't really shake off the thought. I mean, could guys actually be into two girls at the same time? Well, it's weird but not entirely impossible. I mean, for all we know, a guy could have a girlfriend and then could be attracted to another girl. What if both girls don't even have a clue (unlike in Glee)? When Finn asked Terri about this, she said that it was cheating. Is it really?

I mean, could guys really say that it's just a 'friend', when in fact, it's their girlfriend? Could they really not admit it to another girl? It'd be weird though. If one of the girls find out, I think she'd be freaked out. I think if the girlfriend found out, there'd be a fight, but if the other girl found out, she'd be too disgusted. 

Yeah, I think so.

I think, usually, guys create this certain distance with girls, especially when they're taken. This is what I've observed about most guys, but of course there are exceptions. Idk. Is it just me, or some guys really don't know the limitation of being nice? Being nice is good, it's all cool, but I think there are limits to it. For guys in a relationship, I think they should hold the 'nice-factor'. I'm not saying they shouldn't be nice, but most girls prefer that their boyfriends are especially nice to them, and just to them.

Am I wrong? What do you think?

爱你，宝贝

Missy

Careful

As you have probably noticed from my former posts, I kinda have weight issues. Like, I've been yoyo-ing since the beginning of adolescence. I don't actually like this situation. It just happens. I'm not exactly sure what triggers it, but I'm pretty sure that trigger has been pulled now. 

I'm trying to be careful nowadays. I don't want to catch full-time bulimia, or something like that. I'm trying to have a normal diet. It kinda bothers me that most people don't give a damn about these things while I constantly struggle with it.

What am I, a shape shifter? I'm trying to handle these stuff well. I don't wanna go back to turning my face to the porcelain bowl for help.

My mind has been really clouded lately. I need to pull myself together.

爱你，宝贝

Missy

Upset

I am so upset. Really. I'm seriously pissed off.

How did this happen?

You know how annoying it is when people ask you to do stuff but in the end, they'd end up not really caring. This is making me really upset. My effort has gone down the drain. I actually wanted to pull all of my hair out.

Breathe. Relax. Chill.

I mean, I was in the mood until about an hour ago. I received really good news earlier this afternoon. I was even in the mood to put on false eyelashes. Now, I look like a doll with a stressed and upset face. 

UGH, I hate this.

I feel so ditched. It's really so upsetting that I already have my "SEE-IF-I-CARE" mood.

Whatever. I feel terrible.

爱你，宝贝

Missy  

Incoherence: Random Rants and Ramblings

(each line is a different thought: revised! i found some typos)

Ah, I've been terribly busy for the past few weeks. I'm so tired. (Ack, the stress that chemistry brings)

Ne, I'm excited with my new browser. Haha. I've been using a crappy one ever since and I can't take it anymore. It's almost always not responding. I mean, UGH, it's terrible. It hangs whenever I've got urgent stuff to do. (What luck!)

I've got a terrible Friday schedule for next semester. No break, no food, OH NO.

I wonder what I should add to my 100 list of things to do before I die. I've only listed down 30. I need new ideas, but I definitely don't want to kiss a walrus!

I feel sleepy.

BOING! BOING!

Should I start setting my laptop's language into Japanese? Like, everything?

If you're a chemist, should you name your child 'Aniline'? or is that too BASIC? (Sorry, Chem joke)

The internet connection is fluctuating. This isn't nice. The internet connection in the Philippines should be improved. Don't they know how much net-junkies reside in the Philippines?

Yipee! I've got a Twitter account and I registered in Japanese. Awesome. Haha. I want to write posts in Japanese, but I doubt if any of my friends would understand. Haha.

I've got a Theater 12 (acting workshop) class next semester. If we would be given a chance to stage a play, I want to have a solo role. Lol.

I hope that our Girls' Outing on the 24th and 25th would push through. We've been so busy lately. We deserve a good vacation.

I wonder if they're really treating us, chemists, like cyborgs. I think they're trying to program us. We don't even have decent breaks for eating anymore (ultra-damage Friday schedule for next semester). I think we'd be like ultimate super humans with awesome programmed brains. So cool, except that I'll have less time for ice cream breaks. I'll probably bring coffee and chocolates to school next semester.

I want to be a super geek!

Ugh, I just fell asleep for about 15 minutes.

Aww, I missed 11:11 again. I wonder if wishing actually works. I hope it does. I mean, if you have something that you want and if you strongly believe in it, I think they should give it to you. I'm not saying that you should be given everything you want, but at least you should get what you deserve.

I think I should start studying IUPAC nomenclature, or I'll die during the final exam in organic chemistry. By the way, I hope that Dr. Quibuyen would still be our professor. He's great. He gives difficult exams but at least I'm learning from my mistakes. Lol.

ねえ、来月、私はあなたを会えない。さようなら。

爱你，宝贝

Missy 

Not Dead.. Yet.

Oh goodness. I haven't posted anything for more than a month now. I've been really busy with school and stuff. Lots of things happened and I'd probably write about it during the semestral break. Ugh, I'm so tired, but I still need to study for our exam tomorrow.

 

Actually, I'm kinda not feeling well today. I feel lifeless or something like that. I need more energy.

 

Anyway, just saying a quick "HI!"

 

Don't worry I'm still alive.

 

爱你，宝贝

Missy  

Zombie Attack

I haven't written anything for so long. Sorry, I've been really busy battling the zombie attack. Basically, I looked at myself in the mirror then saw a freaking zombie. Haha. I look like one because I've been really stressed. Actually, I'm still in the catching-sleep phase. I'm still really tired. I guess being a scientist requires more work than I thought. Haha. I actually feel guilty for being lazy and for procrastinating, but I actually do those things to pause and rest. These past few weeks have been totally demanding, physically and mentally.

 

Oh dear, did I forget to mention that it feels weird to still be feeling bad and worrying about people who aren't supposed to even be part of your life? Yeah, it sucks. I'm torn between thinking and feeling. I mean, these people obviously hate you, yet you still genuinely care for them and help them out. Yeah, it sucks. My human side says that we should just push them off the cliff (*evil laugh), but my normal soft-hearted self does otherwise. Haha.

 

Moving on, I really hate it when you actually try to talk to some people who were your friends. I mean, they obviously don't want to talk to you and ignore you most of the time. There's just a different vibe. Anyway, at least I get to think and see outside the box, and I mean it. Yeah, your box looks frozen, how is it? Lol.

 

爱你，宝贝

Missy  

Illusion

Gosh, I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been trying to, but the internet is pretty screwed up these days.

 

Anyway..

 

I'm not really surprised when I found myself in a bad shape. I've been in a false state on euphoria. I was so falsely happy that I did everything that I felt like. In short, an epic failure. I did everything that I want and I lost control, I lost focus, I lost balance, I lost composure. I broke most of my personal rules. I'm too disappointed at myself. I've been too smitten this month, I must get back on track.

 

The thing is, I should really accept the fact that I should love no one else but myself. Screw narcissism, but this is really the safest way to go. I've been through quite some crap when it comes to these things, so I better put up walls of mirrors before people completely destroy my home base.

 

Ah, speaking of people. They're never gonna stop, don't you think? Rumors and trash-talks about me are still going on behind my back. I don't really give a damn because I don't 'know' these people (by ' ' I meant that I knew their names and faces but we're not exactly 'friends'). People in this place are a lot more immature than expected. I mean, if you consider the age factor, you'll think that their immaturity is not in the right level. Haha. This is not very high school-y. It's way worse. Haha.

 

I find them quite amusing though. They're like specimens. I don't intend on getting back at them. I don't need to. Karma bites hard, babe.

 

爱你，宝贝

Missy  

Swimming

This is a rather awkward entry, especially for males.

 

We needed to go swimming. Unfortunately for me, I started my period the day before the practical test (Note: the practical test was this morning. Damn, don't count my cycle. Lol.). Of course, you're not supposed to use sanitary napkins in the pool. That'd be so weird, not to mention, soggy. Also, I was afraid of catching infections or something like that. So, I decided to try out these things called tampons. LOL. It's not exactly popular here, but I just thought that I might be safer using those.

 

So, with the tampons..

 

I read the manual and followed the instructions. Damn. I laughed hard after putting one on before swimming last night. HAHA. I can't really explain why. It's just really weird and funny at the same time. HAHAHA. Sorry, I can't stop laughing. By the way, I've become an expert on my third try. LOL.

 

Now, this is funny in an awkward way. :))

 

爱你，宝贝

Missy

 

p.s.

Short post again. Sorry! I've got an exam tomorrow. Pray for me and wish me luck! Thanks guys! 

Just Smile

Lalala, I ain't talking about Nicholas Teo's song. I just feel like smiling.

 

There were a lot of disappointing things that happened this week. I'm still trying to get myself back on track. I kinda tripped, but I'm doing good. I guess when life gives you lemons, you should learn how to make lemonade. Honestly, I haven't really felt this good in a while. I'm trying to make the best of what life gave me. I'm hoping that this would be the blessing that I've been waiting for. Hello there, Dear God, I've been waiting for a very long time. If this is what you really wanted to give me, THANKS. I LOVE THEE. :) I hope this isn't one of those fads. I'll be utterly disappointed if this is another short-lived thing because apparently, unexpectedly, it makes my heart smile.

 

Teehee.

 

Though I kinda feel guilty for eating a lot this week. Being this excited makes me exceed 1000 kcal a day. Oh no.

 

Oh, btw, we have so much stuff to do next week. I'll probably be drained. If you start from this Monday, I could say that I have four upcoming exams. Sigh. Another week in hell. How can I even complain? It's mid-semester period. This is NORMAL. I just hope that I could study well and finish all reports that I need to finish. Sob. There's a ton of things to do. I've actually started a few hours ago. I woke up at about 3:30 AM. Now that's freakishly geeky.

 

Tchau.

 

爱你，宝贝

Missy 

 

p.s.

I'll keep you posted on HC, soon. (Ah, this makes me happy!)